======================================================================== ============= THE FUTURAMA CHRONICLES ==== EPISODE CAPSULE ============= ======================================================================== Official Title: Hell is Other Robots Episode Number: 1ACV09 (#9) First Airdate : Tuesday, May 18th, 1999 (8:30 PM) Written by : Eric Kaplan Directed by : Rich Moore ======================================================================== = Additional tidbits = Opening theme promotion : Condemned by the Space Pope Opening theme cartoon : Unknown "Betty Boop" cartoon Subsequent Fox Airdates : 01-Aug-99 18-May-99 Nielsen ranking: 4.9% of audience (#72 for the week) 01-Aug-99 Nielsen ranking: 4.2% of audience (#76 for the week) MPAA rating : TV-PG-L Length minus commercials : [21:17] ======================================================================== = Foxworld Synopsis = After a Beastie Boys Heads concert at Madison Cube Garden, Bender goes on a bender and gets hooked on power surges. His life begins a downward spiral until he finds salvation at the Temple of Robotology. Having found religion, his polite behavior becomes so irritating to his friends that they begin to tempt him with his old vices. When he finally succumbs and returns to his old ways, he is banished to Robot Hell where, in a musical extravaganza, he faces the Robot Devil and endures tortures unimaginable to man. ======================================================================== = Minutiae = - Among the "Beastie Boys" audience members are a blue, humanoid rhinocerous, a man wearing an oxygen mask (or whatever other gas he needs to breathe) and a green, three-eyed alien. - The guy at the concert sitting next to Leela has a wrist computer almost identical to hers. {hh} - The Beastie Boys have wireless headphones that can apparently survive in water and whatever other preservatives are in the heads' jars. - Leela's wrist communicator can determine the success rate of busting mad rhymes. {ds} - As Leela defends herself against the other moshpitters, there is a man standing on another man's shoulders behind her. - The three illuminating aliens at the concert have cat-like eyes and webbed feet. - Jack-In-The-Box is still in business in 3000. {jk} - Fender who makes 20th century musical instruments and amplifiers is still in business. {hl} - When Fender wants to whisper, he apparently must turn his volume control down manually. - Jack den looks like an opium den. {hl} - Some people claim that Bender's line "There's no booze and only one hooker" is a cleverly veiled pun. See "Final Thoughts / Comments." - When Fry and Bender visit the "rough part of town", a homeless man is lying inert in one of the travelling tubes. {vy} - The clock in bumtown has a millenium counter (and it's a bit past 3). {ds} - The "Good Book" (ver. 3.0) is on an Iomega Zip Disk. {vy} - Did you notice there was a sharp drop in the electricity use just before Bender started abusing it? {hh} - The restroom is next to the chemical burn shower Fry used to shower in. {hh} - Fry has trashed the Planet Express ship again (trash scattered on the floor). {ds} - There's a can of Slurm sitting on the ship's console. {hh} - Bender is restored with replacement "Robot Legs and Thighs," found in a crate next to the table. - I'm actually surprised that the population of 3000 is enlightened enough to know what a "witch hunt" is, and still use the term. - The Baptism ceremony is actually pretty short. {jr} [ ... but the whole service was probably pretty long. {bm2}] - Robotology symbol is a resistor from circuit diagrams. {hl} - Bender, although a robot, is ticklish. {hh} - Bender baptised in high viscosity oil (but not Mom's!). {hl} - Elzar's Fine Cuisine has security cameras. {ds} - Fry holds his fork with his right hand. {vy} - Hermes talks about "a green snake in a sugar cane field" twice. {ds} - In the season finale, at the restaurant where Bender bought them dinner, I thought it looked like Amy was wearing a Jackie Kennedy outfit. {mm} (See "Final Thoughts / Comments.") - Dr. Zoidberg opens his eyes briefly during Robot Grace. - By the time Bender finishes saying Robot Grace, the candle in the center of the table is melted away, and the other tables are empty, with their chairs stacked upside-down on top of them. - When everyone backed away from Bender's offer of a group hug, I was expecting his arms to extend around them like Inspector Gadget's. - The Planet Express delivery ship is of an interstellar classification. {ds} - Atlantic City still has old-fashioned mailboxes. - Hookerbot 5000 has a quarter slot. {jk} - Strange that a few "skin-tubes" enjoy seeing the fem-bots' bare circuits as well. - Bender wears a towel when answering the door to hide his shame. {ds} - Hotel room doors in the future don't have a peephole. {jr} - Notice the pun when Leela asks "What in hell happened to Bender?" - The title of the Robot Hell brochure is the same as the title of the episode. {jk} - Apparently, Nibbler has a pretty good sense of smell if he was able to track down a robot. {sam} - Robot Hell has an above ground entrance with a sign that says "The Inferno." {ds} - When Leela, Fry and Nibbler enter "the inferno" there is a heart carved in the lower right corner with "H.S. + M.B." and we all know what that stands for! {bk} (If you've been living under a rock for a decade, see "Other References.") - Nibbler gets left behind when Fry and Leela fall through the trapdoor into Robot Hell. They never go back for him! :( {pm4} - On the floor in Robot Hell there is a pair of extension cords that has been disconnected, and some wretched sinner units imprisoned under bars in the ground. - Fry is about to sign the Fiddle Contest waiver the very second it's shoved in front of him, but Leela knocks the pen out of his hand just in time. ======================================================================== = Parallels to Science Fiction = ~ "Starcraft" (video game) - The [flying robots] looked to me like the Zergs (sp?) in Starcraft. {ct} + "Star Trek: Generations" (movie) - Bender screaming at the universe is just like a scene from Star Trek: Generations. {hh} ~ "Star Wars: A New Hope" (movie) - The Robot Hell is somehow reminiscent of the robot holding area in Star Wars: A New Hope when C3PO and R2-D2 are captured by the Jawas and see several robots being tortured. {vy} ======================================================================== = Other References = + 1940's detective stories (that rhymes!) - The phrase "hooker with a heart of gold" is a 1940s detective fiction cliché. {jf} + "1999" (song) {hl} - Fry quotes a line from this Prince song ... and adds "again" to it. + "The Beastie Boys" (music group) - The guys in black suits holding their heads dance similar to the Beastie Boys in their "Intergalactic" video. Beastie Boys songs featured are "Intergalactic" and "Disco Breakin'" from Hello Nasty and an acapella rendition of "Sabotage" from Ill Communication. {vy} ~ "Bernstein Bears" (childrens' books) - Fry marvels at seeing an "actual, factual" Hell. In the Bernstein Bears franchise of books there is an Actual Factual Bear who dispenses educational tidbits. (Or, at least there was twenty-odd years ago.) {br} ~ "Conan O'Brian" (TV show) - Hookerbot-5000 is a reference to The Conan O'Brian Show's Pimpbot 5000. Pimpbot-5000 is described as "combining the classic stylings of a 1950's robot with the dynamic flair of a 1970's street pimp." {jr5} + "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" (song/video) - The Charlie Daniels Band released "Million Mile Reflections" in 1979, containing "The Devil Went Down to Georgia " describing a fiddle contest with the devil for a solid gold fiddle. I'd say it's pretty clear where the inspiration came from. (If you want to hear the song, go to .) {jl3} - The "fiddle contest with the Devil" is an old folktale. There are references to it in traditional USA country folk music records in the 1920s, and it probably goes back a good deal further. (The theme of battling the Lord of the Underworld for a soul with contests of skill can be found in Midaeval Christian European stories and Classical Mythology.) {cm} + "Divine Comedy" (poem by Dante Aligheri) - Victims are sent to varying levels/degrees of hell. - The three parts are Inferno, Purgatorio and Paradiso, with 'hell' being only the first part of the three. (Sidenote: Dante's vision of hell had 7 main tiers, for each of the seven deadly sins. IIRC, Bender only reached the first five levels.) {rdb} + "Godfather" (movies) - Sicily 8; the kiss of death. {hl} + "Halleujah Chorus" from The Messiah by Handel (song) {ds} - Plays during the crew's escape from Robot Hell. + Jean Paul Sartre (philosopher) {bm2} - The Robot Devil hands Bender a brochure that says "Hell is Other Robots." This is also the episode title. - Jean Paul Sartre said this, I think. Only about people. {jr} ~ Jesse Jackson (reverend) - The Robotology preacher is modelled after the reverend Jesse Jackson. {vy} ~ "Magic: The Gathering" (franchise) - Robot Hell looks a lot like Phyrexia from the popular fantasy card game. Phyrexia is a hellish plane of existence filled with mechanical and undead creations and run by demons who often are partly mechanical themselves. Phyrexia, like Robot Hell, is ruled by a powerful mechanical demon and its denizens torture mechanical constructs. {sam} ~ "Monty Python's Flying Circus" (TV show) - Specifically, the Spanish Inquisition skit ("Noooooooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"), where the punishments they dish out are forcing people to sit in comfortable chairs and undergo pleasant massages. {vy} ~ "Red Dwarf" (TV show) - On Red Dwarf the robots (or mechanoids) are programmed to believe in silicon heaven because if it didn't exist "where would all the little calculators go?" {tk} + "Starfox 64" (video game) - Those hornets that shoot rings of lasers at the escaping Bender, Fry, and Leela are very similar to the robotic hornets located in the Asteroid Belt of Starfox 64. {sam} + "Street Fighter" (video game) - It looked like Leela's 360 spin kick in the mosh pit was one of the moves from the video game Street Fighter. I think Ryu and the Ken guy both do it the same way, with one leg down and the 360 spin. {th} ======================================================================== = Freeze Frame Fanaticism = >> Signs - BEASTIE BOYS in concert INTERGALACTIC TOUR - SPARKY'S DEN - Elzar's FINE COUSINE - welcome to ATLANTIC CITY - POWER STRIP - TRUMP TRAPEZOID - RECKLESS [] TED'S F U N L A N D - CARN DOGS - The Inferno >> Counter in the bad neighborhood 3 MILLENIUM - 4 >> Bender's body shop - ROBOT LEGS AND THIGHS >> In the Temple of Robotology 10 SIN 20 GOTO HELL >> Robot Hell pamphlet HELL IS OTHER ROBOTS >> Lady Luck's array of tortures - PARBOIL - FRICASEE - SAUTE - PLEASANT MASSAGE - DEEP-FRY - BAKE ======================================================================== = Goofs = - If the people of the year 3000 consider rap music to be classical music (1ACV06), shouldn't they treat the music of the Beastie Boys in the same way and not as "old school beats?" {sam} - A three-eyed alien in the "Beastie Boys" audience has white eyes, which turn to black between shots. - When we first see the stage, there are three lights at the top: two to the left, one to the right. But after Fry says "these guys rock harder than ever", we see them again and there is one to the left and two to the right. Then the camera angle changes, and again we see two to the left and one to the right. {lp} - Also, when the black-dressed guys take the heads and they start singing, we see two small speakers on the stage's floor that don't appear when the heads are getting carried to or out the stage. {lp} - For a brief second during the moshpit, the controls on Leela's wristpad disappear. - AD-ROCK's 5-o'clock shadow disappears in his close-up. - As of 1999, the Beastie Boys actually have more than five albums (Fry mentions "all five of their albums"). Including the 5 major ones, "Licensed to Ill," "Paul's Boutique," "Check Your Head," "Ill Communication," and "Hello Nasty," there is the "Root Down" remix album (follow up to "Ill Communication") and "Some Old Bullshit" (old tracks). There may be more I'm not sure of. {vy} - The clock outside Sparky's Den says it's 8:30 (and doesn't have a millenium count) when Bender says "I'll just be a minute"; four seconds later, it says it's 8:00 (and _does_ have a millenium count). Fry waits till 11:20, BTW. {lp} - The restroom wasn't where it was in 1ACV05, where Farnsworth and Hermes entered through an unmarked door. - When Bender reenters the bathroom, the door closes too fast. This is a half-goof, as the machine could have been malfunctioning. - Bender crouches in the corner of the ship's cockpit biting his nails ... but what nails? - The ship looks much smaller in relation to Bender than it should be, as he stands on top of it. - Hermes' electric bill graphic isn't _exactly_ the same when we first see it and when he points to Zoidberg. {lp} - After Bender has been repaired, we see him, Amy, Hermes, Farnsworth, Leela and Zoidberg in the table ... Fry's missing! Obviously so we can't see his hair till he talk. He appears in a chair that was empty on the general shot. {lp} - The box with robot legs and arms is no longer there when Benders exits after saying "I'm a lost cause." {lp} - When Bender goes back to Sparky's Den that night, the clock says it's 7:25, and doesn't have a millenium count. {lp} - From the back of the Robotology church, we see a door leading in to where the altar should be, but there is no door behind the altar. - Right after Bender hugs Fry, Amy doesn't have a hat. Earlier, she did, and she does again when they all cower (after Bender finishes his speech). {jr} - Hermes is sitting next to Leela and Zoidberg at Elzar's fine cuisine, but when they all cower, he's sitting next to Amy and Fry. {lp} - When Bender is tacking his Robot Fish onto the Planet Express ship, where is the religious logo that was welded to his body? It was in the previous scene and reappears in the following scene. {rxs} - When Bender is putting the fish in the ship, he's on the fourth rung of the stair when Leela, Fry and Farnsworth approach him; but after a close-up of Leela, he's on the third. {lp} - The robot preacher has to weld the Robotology symbol onto Bender's chest, but Bender later peels it off with no effort. (Well, he _is_ a bender, after all ... ) {hh} - When we first see Bender at Trump Trapezoid, the robot at his right has a towel hanging below her right arm; it dissapears while the devil knocks the door. Also between these two shots, a beer can appears on the floor. {lp} - There actually is no "Do Not Disturb" sign outside Bender's apartment. Either he's too drunk to realize this or someone outside swiped it off. - When the devil knocks the door, there's a little refrigerator next to the door, with his door completely opened; when Bender goes to open the door of the room, the door of the refrigerator is a lot less opened, and its contents are slightly different; and they change again when the trident hits Bender. {lp} - When Leela and Fry are in Trump Trapezoid, the controls at the right of the room's door are missing. {lp} - The only time we see the Robot Devil's wallet pocket is when Bender steals it. (Look when Bender is tossed out the elevator and the devil walks towards him.) {lp} - When Bender pickpockets the robot-devil's wallet, he rips off Bender's arm, then Bender falls through a chute, and his arm is back. {rdb} - Where did the diamond, cock and "indecent magazine" go? We see the elevator's floor when Bender is tosed out of it, and there's nothing there. {lp} - The fiddle contest waiver appears from nowhere and goes back to it, as well as the pen. {lp} - The solid gold fiddle, and its arch, appear from nowhere. {lp} - The piece of land on which Leela and the Robot Devil perform their fiddle contest changes from a small platform to a huge valley. ======================================================================== = Extended Goofs / Technical Nitpicks = >> But "witch" is the proper word ... I looked it up! In the "Minutiae" section, I stated that "I'm actually surprised that the population of 3000 is enlightened enough to know what a "witch hunt" is, and still use the term. Ben Mann isn't as surprised. He gives 3 possibilities: 1. There was another medieval age. 2. Maybe they know the term from the "ancient" McCarthy era. 3. Most people don't know the origins of the words in their language. The population in the year 3000 still uses essentially the same language as Shakespeare, father of modern English, so it's not such a stretch to think a "witchhunt" would still be in their vocabulary. >> In what direction do all the little calculators go? Jeremy Reaban: In the Robot Minister's speech, he should says sinners will be uploaded to Robot Hell, not downloaded. Rich Bunnell: While by the actual terms of "uploading" and "downloading" you're correct, "downloading" sounds like a much more appropriate term referring to hell, since it's usually thought of as down. Ted Marshall: Actually, if you consider "robot hell" as the server, then sending a file/robot soul to it would be uploading.  You download from a server to your PC, you upload from your PC to the server. >> Head goofs ... full of heady goodness J.L. Stolm: One goof that keeps popping up is with the heads from the past ... they all look like they do today, so does that mean that the heads are to be preserved sometime in the near future? Or perhaps that in the future they have ways (plastic surgery) to _really_ make one look young again? Vince Yim: That's what really had me worried. If major celebs have their heads in jars a thousand years from now, they'd likely have to die within the near future in order to look the way they do. Either that, or the formeldahyde in the jars helps them become younger. Jeremy Reaban: Also, while in "hell," none of the Beasties are in their jars. Vince Yim: That was likely intentional. How else are they able to make the scratchy-scratchy sounds with the hard drive if their heads are incased in jars? Derek Robb: We've seen several occasions in which heads weren't in jars. Nixon's head knocked about outside its jar during the pilot episode. I'd guess the jar is not necessary to keep the head alive (i'd guess it's the doojobby around the neck), but is used to keep it preserved. Maybe. Or maybe it's a cartoon. >> No Liquor License Troy Miller: I'm a little disturbed by the final episode. We have seen before that if Bender does not drink alcohol he becomes "sober" -- the effects on him being that of human drinking. But tonight he gave up drinking but it had a very different effect on him. Any thoughts? Jason Barrerra: Mineral oil must be a non-alcoholic fuel cell charger, just as nutritious as good old fasioned alcohol. Ben Mann: I figured maybe the Robology emblem contained some circuitry that altered his metabolism -- in fact, for all we know, it could've been a battery. Maybe in the church of Robotology it's sinful to get chemical energy from human foods like wine and beer! Also, maybe Bender just preferred to take his chemical energy from alcohol rather than other liquids or foods because it's very high in calories -- and, of course, funny. ======================================================================== = Reviews = Haynes Lee: The season ended too soon with secondary characters barely introduced (and some have yet to make an appearance). With this episode in particular the jump between Roboology and Robot Hell was abrupt and did we have to end the season on a musical number? (A-) Jeremy Reaban: Funny episode. Lots of great Bender lines. I give it an: (A) Matt Rose: It was great until ... the SONG. Ugh! Why does Groening insist on throwing these completely extraneous pseudo-Broadway numbers in? My only thought is that they just want another Emmy. Other than that, an episode that was sidesplittingly funny for the first 15 minutes ... I think it's safe to say Bender is the star of the show. (B+) (solid A without the song) Vince Yim: After last week's hilarious Armageddon/Deep Impact parody, any following episode would be hard pressed to top it. However, it is notable for having the first song-and-dance number for Futurama (it was bound to happen) and a guest appearance from the Beastie Boys (I own a couple of their albums). Still, it did have its moments. (B+) Yours Truly: While at first glance this seemed to be the best episode yet, looking back, it just isn't as memorable when compared to everything else the series has given us so far. It was still funny and well-plotted, but I didn't find the subject matter all that interesting, and on a whole it seemed more like an episode of "The Simpsons" than "Futurama." My favorite scene was Bender vs. the universe. (B+) Average Grade: [17/5=3.4] (A-) ======================================================================== = Final Thoughts / Comments = >> Hey, buddy, quit hogging the hookah! Jeremy Reaban: Despite Benders statement "What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker," none of the robots present really looks like a hooker. Steve Van Devender: Listen carefully -- he says "hookah," not "hooker."  Note the appearance of the apparatus all the other robots are jacking on with. Jeff Foster: That pun slipped by you? The thing off which they were all taking hits was a hookah. It even bubbled like one. Jeremy Reaban: Well, I knew it was a hookah, but I would have sworn he said "hooker," not "hookah." Plus, why would he be disappointed in only one hookah (or the robotic equivalent of such), if he didn't want to jack on using one? (He did have to be talked into it). OTOH, it's a running joke that Bender loves hookers. Ed Stewart: If you listen to all the .wav files on the web now, he does say "hooker" -- going back to the original post commenting that none of the bots present looked like a hooker ... maybe he thought the hookah bong thing in the middle was a hooker? Sivart Llewhtarg: They were all HOOKing into the device to get electricity (as my memory recalls of this episode), hence making it a HOOK-er. >> Give her a break! Her husband was killed ... until they cloned him Michael Morbius: In the season finale, at the restaurant where Bender bought them dinner, I thought it looked like Amy was wearing a Jackie Kennedy outfit. Michael Choi: Nah. Pillbox hat, yes. Shoulder fins, no. (Though, who knows how Chanel will update the look in 1,000 years?) Also, I think the one you're thinking of was pink, at least the one worn on that day in Dallas. Michael Morbius: Are those in style in the year 3000? Does anyone still know who Jackie was? Jay Seals: Perhaps. If they have Richard Nixon's head in a jar (1ACV01), then it may not be unlikely that her head's sitting on a shelf somewhere. >> Honk if you love Jerematic Dave Sweatt: The Jesus Fish appears on many cars here in the southern United States, as do many variations such as Jesus spelled in Hebrew. There are also variations for Hindu, Budda, etc. I've even seen mock variations including one that says 'Darwin' and is in the shape of a creature with legs, as to promote evolution from the fishes of the sea. >> Sing along to Futurama! Mattew Riley provides the lyrics to the Robot Hell bonanza. (A more detailed version, complete with scene descriptions, can be found in the "Quotes and Scene Summaries."): [D=Devil; B=Bender; Y=Beastie Boys; F=Fry; L=Leela] D:Cigars are evil; you won't miss 'em. We'll find ways to simulate that smell. What a sorry fella, rolled up and smoked like a panatella. Here on level one of Robot Hell! D:Gambling's wrong and so is cheating, so is forging phony IOU's. Let's let lady luck decide what type of torture's justified. I'm pit boss here on level two. D:Ooh! Deep-fryed robot! B:Just tell me why! D:Please read this fifty-five page warrant. B:There must be robots worse than I! D:We checked around, there really aren't. B:Then please let me explain; My crimes were merely boyish pranks. D:You stole from boy scouts, nuns, and banks! B:Aw, don't blame me, blame my upbringing! D:Please stop sinning while I'm singing! D:Selling bootleg tapes is wrong. Musicians need that income to survive. Y:Hey Bender gonna make some noise With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys! That's whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on level five! F:I don't feel well. L:It's up to us to rescue him. F:Maybe he likes it here in hell. L:It's us who tempted him to sin. F:Maybe he's back at the motel. L:Come on Fry, don't be scared, I'm sure at least one of us will be spared. So just sit back; enjoy the ride. F:My ass has blisters from the slide. D:Fencing diamonds, fixing cockfights, Publishing indecent magazines. You'll pay for every crime, Knee-deep in electric slime. You'll suffer 'till the end of time, Enduring tortures, most of which rhyme. Trapped forever here in Robot Hell! >> The cold, steel facts on the Robot Devil Jeremy Dennis: [Beelzebot]'s obviously a mechanized version of beelzebub, which I heard is another name to call Lucifer. I have only heard it in Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, but that's where his name comes from. Brian Corvello: [You are] right in saying that. However, "Beelzebub" is _not_ truly another name for Lucifer (or Satan), and it comes from a source far, far, older than the Queen Bohemian Rhapsody -- or any other rhapsody for that matter. Any student of fine literature (yes, a few of us like the works of Matt Groening!) knows that Beelzebub was a character in John Milton's epic poetic masterpiece, "Paradise Lost." The character was a fallen angel who was Lucifer's second-in-command when the armies of Satan made a doomed attempt to conquer heaven. So you can call Beelzebub a lackey or henchman of the Devil. Unfortunately, Satan has been given countless names over the centuries, so much that many people in modern times (including, apparently, Matt Groening) think that "Beelzebul" is one of them. >> On the Cutting-Room Floor Some viewers claim that the scene in which Bender shreds the wine list and hands it to the waiter was different in the commercials. Dave Sweatt: According to MTV News, Adam Yauch recorded vocal parts along with the other two Beastie Boys, but for the the final version of the episode that aired, he had no speaking part. >> Last, and probably least Haynes Lee: Robotology sounds like Scientology but the full immersion Baptismal ceremony is more like the Baptists. Steven Aaron Monroe: If Bender wanted to avoid the pain of the tortures in Robot Hell, why couldn't he turn off his emotions, kind of like what Data did in the movie "Star Trek: First Contact?" ======================================================================== = Fun Stuff = >> Alien Language #1 sightings TV Guide ad (not in actual episode): "IF SIN: THEN HELL!" The Robotology symbol is _not_ part of an alien language. See "Minutiae." >> References to Previous Episodes - [1ACV03] Hermes indicates company stats with a shocking graph - [1ACV03] Bender enters Planet Express in a cheerful mood, singing or whistling - [1ACV05] Robots' love for blasts of searing-hot resin - [1ACV05] Crummy-looking robot makes encore appearance as a junkie - [1ACV07] Essence of Elzar, c.f. Elzar's Fine Cuisine {ds} >> Fan-made Alternate Titles for this Episode "Church of the Poison Motherboard" {ds} "Fortified-Wine-Bent and Hellbound" {ds} "Hepped up on Spaceballs" {ds} "Robo Act 2: Back Outta Habit" {jl} "When Good Sinners Go Bad" ======================================================================== = Voice Credits = >> Starring Billy West ........................... Fry, Dr. Zoidberg, Farnsworth, Deacon, Churchgoer 2, Waiter Katey Sagal ................................................... Leela John DiMaggio ..................................... Bender, Announcer >> Special Appearances Mike Diamond .................................. his own head in a jar Adam Horovitz ................................. his own head in a jar Dan Castellanetta ....................................... Robot Devil >> Guest Starring Tress MacNeille ................. Churchgoer 1, Hookerbot, Purse Lady Lauren Tom ............................................. Amy, Nibbler Phil LaMarre ............................... Fender, Preacher, Hermes = Quotes and Scene Summaries = % No introductory sequence this time; cut straight to the theme song. % Madison Cube Garden is packed with eager Beastie Boys fans, awaiting % their glimpse of the band's intergalactic tour. Fry, Bender and Leela % are in the balcony's front row, and the evening's just begun. After % Fry mentions that he's been waiting a thousand years to finally attend % one of their concerts, and Bender shares some internally-made beer % with his friends, the lights dim and the band is introduced: "Ladies % and gentlemen, here to lay down some old, old, _incredibly_ old-school % beats ... the Beastie Boys!!!" The spotlights focus on a man in an % overcoat, who wheels out a tray containing the band-members' heads, % preserved in jars. When the music begins, the heads are picked up by % three dancing men draped in pitch-black, and they sing along to their % own music. Leela: [checking her wrist-pad] Impressive ... they're busting mad rhymes with an 80% success-rate. Bender: [thoughtfully] I believe that qualifies as "ill," at least from a technical standpoint. Fry: Will you guys shut up? I'm trying to look cool. % Fry is standing alone in the aisle, dancing frantically. Back on % stage, when Mike Diamond reaches the line in the song "Let the beat % drop," the man carrying his head loses his grip, and Mike's head % bounces into the audience. The audience members pass him back and % forth, while he makes small talk to them and hypes the stadium's % t-shirt sales. A new song begins. Fry: Wow, an old-fashioned moshpit! C'mon, guys, we're gonna party like it's 1999 ... again. % Fry and Bender get up and start to repeatedly ram into each others' % shoulders. Leela gets up as well, but when a few strangers ram into % her, she gets defensive and knocks out everyone within a 3-foot radius % with a 360-degree spin kick. Later on, they're back in their seats % and Fry encourages their ochopella (sp?) rendition of "Mirage." When % that's over, the band is wheeled back off-stage on its tray. One of % the stadium's Fender-made amplifiers comes to life and wheels itself % over to the crew's seat to greet Bender. Fender: Hey, Bender! Bender: Hey, Fender! Man, I haven't seen you since high school. You still working at Jack-in-the-Box? Fender: Not anymore, baby. _I'm_ with the band. [Fender takes the crew backstage, where the band's heads are being groomed.] Fender: [to the band] Hey, fellas, hey ... I want you to meet my friends, Bender, Fry and Leela. Adam: You know, we're really not that interested in meeting them. Fry: Wow, I love you guys! Back in the 20th century, I had all five of your albums. Mike: That was a thousand years ago! Now we got seven. Fry: Cool. Can I borrow the new ones and a couple of blank tapes? Fender: [whispering to Bender] Hey, Bender, why don't we ditch these organ-sacks and hit the _real_ party? Bender: Count me in. I'm gonna drink 'til I reboot! % Fender takes Bender into a lonely hallway elsewhere in the building, % through a few beaded doorways, into a dark, musky room inhabited by % several dark and musky (and quite crummy-looking) robots. The robots % are all plugged into a bubbling vase-like device in the center, % periodically receiving jolts of electricity from it. Bender: Hey, what kind of party _is_ this? There's no booze and only one hooker. Fender: Don't be a _drag_, man. We're jackin' on! [Fender plugs himself in, and enjoys a jolt of pleasure.] Fender: [offering a wire to Bender] Want a jolt? Bender: [sheepishly] Uh, hey, I'm no square, but isn't that counter- indicated by my operations manual? [the other robots laugh] Fender: Come on, Bender, grab a jack! I told these guys you were cool. Bender: Well ... if jacking on will make strangers think I'm cool ... I'll do it! % Bender is plugged in, and the shock instantly sends his facial % features in a whirling frenzy. The frenzy calms, and the world around % him fades into darkness, leading into several surreal fantasies that % aren't worth trying to describe here. Before the colorful visuals and % groovy music get the most of us, Fender unplugs his buddy, and back in % the real world, Bender's face must calm itself on its own. Bender is % warned not to get hooked on the stuff, but he's quite sure that he % doesn't have to worry about having an addictive personality. He % celebrates this assurance with a quick cigarette, a sip of beer, and % another jolt of electricity. % An indiscriminate length of time passes between that night and % Bender's journey into one of the city's bad neighborhoods with Fry. % Fry is hesitant, but follows Bender, who is walking cooly and wearing % dark sunglasses to cover up the kaleidescope-colors in his eyes. Fry % asks what they're doing there, but Bender yells "Shut up, square!" % They reach a place called Sparky's Den, and Bender steps inside, % telling Fry he'll just be there for a minute. Several hours pass, and % Fry is still waiting patiently outside when Bender finally decides to % join him. He walks right past Fry without saying a word, and % collapses onto the pavement. Another robot, dressed as a minister, % wheels by and observes his fallen brother. Preacher: Wretched sinner unit! The path to Robot Heaven lies _here_, in the Good Book 3.0. [he holds up a floppy disk containing the Good Book] Bender: Hey, do I preach to you when _you're_ lyin' stoned in the gutter? No, so beat it! [Preacher shakes his head and leaves] Fry: Who was that guy? Bender: Your mama. Now shut up and drag me to work. % Fry follows Bender's orders and drags him down the sidewalk by the % feet. Later, some of the crew (Zoidberg, Amy and Leela) are enduring % another presentation by Hermes, this one concerning Planet Express' % electric bill. Hermes: Our electric bill is climbing faster than a green snake up a sugarcane. Obviously, someone around here's been wasting a whole heap o' juice. Probably ... you! [he gestures to Zoidberg, who is offended; Fry and Bender enter] Amy: [cheerful] Good morning, Bender! Bender: [angrily] None of your business! Get off my back! [Bender dashes into the restroom] Amy: What's his problem? Leela: If I didn't know better, I'd almost think he was abusing electricity. Fry: Bender? No way. [the lights dim for a moment] Fry: I definitely would've noticed something. [Leela knocks on the restroom door] Leela: Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there? Bender: No! Don't come in! Prof.: Good news, everyone! Today you'll be delivering a crate of subpoenas to Sicily 8, the "Mob Planet." [Bender exits the restroom] Bender: Alright, let's get to work! ... I'll be out in a second. % He dashes into the restroom once more. The Planet Express ship % disappears into space, and we catch it once more on its return trip, % where Bender is crouched in the back corner of the cockpit biting his % nails, rather than at the dashboard with the other two. Fry: I know Big Vinny _said_ he was giving me the "kiss of death," but I still think he was gay. Leela: Did he use his tongue? Fry: A little. [Leela gives him a concerned look; pan over to Bender] Fry: Are you okay, Bender? Bender: None of your business ... get off my back! Leela: [gesturing out the window] Uh-oh, there seems to be an electrical disturbance in the Coalsak Nebula. Bender: [excitedly] A _what_ kind of disturbance? Leela: Electrical. Anyway, it's gonna take some careful piloting to avoid it. % As Leela focuses on the task at hand, Bender sneaks out the door. He % breaks open the air lock in the back of the ship and climbs his way to % the tail end, hugging the surface. Finally, he makes his way to the % very back, and pushes with all his might until the tail bends in the % opposite direction and the entire ship swerves towards the electric % field. Leela worries that the ship's controls are useless, while the % electricity does a number on Fry's hair and morphs it into a huge, % orange disk. Bender cackles madly, and now stands like a hood % ornament on the ship's front end. He taunts the entire universe and % invites it to give him all the juice it's got! Seeing as how the ship % is now completely immersed in lightening and blue smog, the universe % barely has to lift a finger. Bender is struck by bolt after bolt of % lightening and moans in ecstasy for a brief moment ... until % everything below his torso turns to liquid and melds itself into the % ship. "Oh, mama!" he mutters. % Back to the safety of Planet Express. The ship is charred to a crisp, % and Bender is still melted to the hood, with Amy struggling to pry him % free using a jackhammer. She succeeds, and he slides to the floor % with a clank, to meet the accusing eyes of his co-workers. Later on, % he's been repaired to the best of their abilities, and is now % receiving a heavy lecture from the rest of them at the table. Leela: Bender, we didn't mind your drinking or your kleptomania or your pornography ring. Zoidberg: In fact, that's why we loved you. Leela: But this electricity abuse crossed the line. You almost killed us! Fry: And you made me feel like a jerk for trusting you. It's just like when my friend Richie swore he wasn't taking drugs, then he sold me my mom's VCR ... and then later I found out he was taking drugs! You make me ashamed to be your friend. Bender: [sadly] Oh, you're right. I'm a lost cause. % Bender leaves the room dejectedly and takes a walk once more to the % bad part of town. He takes a good look at Sparky's Den (the lights % inside blinking through its only window), and then across the street % to the impressive architecture and warm, glowing lights of the Temple % of Robotology. It dawns on him that "Maybe there's another way ... " % and seconds later we see him on the roof of the Temple, wiring himself % to its glowing sign, and receiving a refreshing jolt of energy. The % sign blows a fuse and dims, and Bender cries out to the night: "What % am I doing? What have I become?" He notices the Temple's skylight % towards the back of the roof, and decides to take a look at the sermon % being given inside. The robot preacher we saw earlier is at the % podium, with a robot helper by his side. Bender leans further onto % the skylight to watch. Preacher: I see a lot of fancy robots here today, made of real shiny metal. But that don't impress the Robot Devil, no, sir! Helper: No, sir! Preacher: 'Cause, if you're a sinner, he's gonna plug his infernal modem in the wall, belching smoke and flame, and he's gonna download you straight to Robot Hell. Helper: Straight to hell! Preacher: So, I ask ya, who will be stand up and be saved? Who? _Who_? % The skylight shatters under Bender's weight, and he falls inside, % landing right below the podium on the altar, followed by a stream of % broken glass. He raises his hand. Bender: [weakly] Me ... % End of Act One (8:54) % Another meeting at Planet Express, bright and early. All are present, % except for Bender. As Hermes and Zoidberg fight over the recent % movement to remove all salt-water coolers from the office, Bender is % heard outside the room, singing "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!" He % enters wearing a bow-tie and a cheery disposition. Bender: Greetings, friends! Don't we all look nice today. Fry: [sarcastically] Great, he's wacked out on electricity again. Bender: No, I'm wacked out on _life_. [softly] I've found religion. [everyone is speechless] Fry: Religion? Is this another scam to get free yarmulkas? Leela: Give him a break, Fry. If this helps Bender clean up his act, then I think we should be supportive. [everyone agrees] Bender: Wonderful! Then you'll all come to my exceedingly long, un- air-conditioned baptism ceremony? % The room's enthusiasm dies down. Everyone is now hesitant to agree. % Nevertheless, all are present at the ceremony later on, in the Temple % of Robotology (among the other members of the congregation, who are % all robots). Bender and the preacher are together on the altar. Preacher: We are gathered here today to deliver Brother Bender from the cold, steel grip of the Robot Devil unto the cold, steel bosom of our congregation. Churchgoer 1: Tell it, preacher! Churchgoer 2: [expressionless] That equals true. Preacher: [to Bender] Brother Bender, do you accept the principals of Robotology, on pain of eternal damnation in Robot Hell? Bender: Yes, I do! Preacher: Then I will now baptize you. Press any key to continue. % A standard keyboard slides out from the Preacher's stomach, and Bender % presses a key at random. He is lifted in the air by a claw, and % lowered into a barrel of "High Viscosity Baptismal Oil" next to the % altar. He is lifted back out, dried off, and placed next to the % preacher. The preacher welds a metallic symbol onto Bender's chest % (The symbol is shaped like a sideways "o-/\/\/\-o" and is also seen on % various decorations in the church; please note that the symbol remains % on Bender's chest for the rest of the episode, until otherwise noted), % and at Bender's request, patches up a seam under his armpit. After % the ceremony, Bender takes the crew out to eat at a fancy restaurant % entitled "Elzar's Fine Cousine." Leela: This is unbelievable. The _old_ Bender never would've taken us out to dinner. Bender: [takes Leela's hand] The old Bender's gone. He won't trouble you anymore. [the waiter approaches] Waiter: Would monsoir care to see the wine list? [Bender takes the list and shreds it to bits] Bender: No poison for us, thanks. I'll stick with good old mineral oil. [drinks a glass] Aah, functional! [the crew are served dinner] Hermes: Mon, I'm hungrier than a green snake in a sugarcane field! Bender: [hastily] Friends, friends ... surely you're not going to eat before we say Robot Grace! [they all groan] Bender: [praying] In the name of all that is good and logical, we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jerematic, "1-0-0-0-1-0-1-0-1-0-1-0-1 ... [a long amount of time passes] ... 0-0-1-0-1-1-0-0-1 - 2." Amen. Fry: Does that mean we can eat now? Bender: Yes. But, first, since I love you all so much, I'd like to give everyone hugs. Come here, Fry! % Fry resists, but Bender embraces him in his arms, and says with a % drunken murmur in his voice that Fry is his friend. He offers for % everyone else to line up for a hug too, but they simply crouch % together in fear. Back at Planet Express, the crew discover Bender as % he's nailing a symbol to the back of their ship, which looks like a % Jesus-fish with the word "ROBOT" in the center. Leela: What are you doing to my ship? Bender: Sanctifying it! [Leela grimaces] Bender: There. That oughta' convert a few tailgaters. [Bender leaves] Fry: Bender's stupid religion is driving me nuts. Leela: Amen. Prof.: If only he had joined a mainstream religion like Oprahism or Voodoo. Fry: We've got to get the old Bender back. Leela: And I think I know a way to do it. We have to reacquaint him with a little thing called "sleaze." % "Welcome to Atlantic City!" says the sign next to the ship's new % parking space. Three crew members are unloaded and find their way % into the town, the robot following the other two. He seems to have % been fooled into thinking they are on a delivery mission (and marvels % at why someone would have hired an interstellar spaceship to deliver a % package to Atlantic City), and when he inquires as to what the % delivery involves, his escorts complete the mission before his eyes by % dropping a roll of breath mints from Fry's pocket into a public % mailbox. Satisfied at another job well done, Bender heads towards the % ship once more, "for an enjoyable evening of fasting and repentance," % but Leela and Fry offer him to stay in the city a while and take in % some exotic dancing, the nearest facility being a seedy strip bar % entitled "Power Strip." Bender: [shocked] But those girls don't wear cases ... you can see their bare circuits! Fry: C'mon, it'll be fun. Maybe we could even drink a little fortified wine! Bender: What?! Drinking wine is a sin ... even if it _is_ deliciously fortified. Leela: [delivishly; gesturing at a woman] Hey, Bender, look at that woman's purse! It's hanging by a spaghetti strand. [Bender's eyes zoom out; he pushes them back in] Bender: [chanting] Thou shalt not snatch! Fry: [gestures elsewhere] And there's Hookerbot 5000. She's got a heart of solid gold! HB5K: [tempting] Hey, sailing unit! Bender: Stop tempting me! For once in my life I have inner peace. Fry: Pfft ... that's for losers. C'mon, sin your heart out. Leela: Go nuts. HB5K: Live a little. [the woman with the purse walks up to Bender] Woman: Could you hold my purse for a minute? Fry: Go for it, Bender! You _know_ you wanna. % Bender quivers anxiously for a few seconds ... loud music and skimpy % female robots then steal the spotlight. In the center of it all is % Bender, slurping down multiple liquor bottles, smoking three cigars at % once, oogling the many exotic dancers on the stage around him, and % showering them with handfuls of money from his newly acquired purse. % Fry says to Leela from a booth by the wall that it looks like they've % got the old Bender back, and Bender agrees for the most part. He % takes care of one last obstacle by prying the Robotology symbol off % from his chest and tossing it away. It lands in a bowl of dip, and as % it becomes fully immersed, it beeps to itself, as if carrying out a % set of instructions ... Later that night, Bender is in a hot tub in % the irregularly shaped "Trump Trapezoid" hotel, accompanied by three % other fembots. Bender: You know, as a major Hollywood director, I'll be holding auditions tonight for my next movie, and even though you're all young and naive, I think you just might have what it takes. [the girls giggle; a knock on the door is heard] Bender: [yelling out the door] Hey, I'm trying to score, here! Can't you read the "DO NOT DISTURB" sign? % Bender resentfully dons a towel and marches over to the door to open % it. Behind the door is a flood of red light, and something that % frightens Bender enough to make him drop the towel to the floor. % Bender is paralyzed with fear, giving ample time for whatever it is t0 % extend a red pitch-fork into the room and clank Bender on the head % with it, knocking him out cold. Bender turns bright red, the % pitchfork turns bright red, and the room turns bright red. The bright % red fades away, and what's left is a view of Bender finally coming % into consciousness again. He is on a red platform surrounded by fire, % and the Devil is on a platform just like it. The Devil greets his new % companion, and gives it a warm welcome to Robot Hell. Bender lets out % a nice, long scream. % End of Act Two (6:17) % Bender's mysterious absence from his hotel room is being investigated % by Leela and Fry, who have brought Nibbler along on a leash. What % remains of their friend is a fossilized Bender-sillhouette in the % floor that drags itself out into the hallway and turns the corner. Leela: What in hell happened to Bender? Fry: Well, he didn't check out. The ashtray's still here. [Nibbler lets out a high-pitched barking sound] Fry: Look, Nibbler's picked up the scent of vodka and motor oil! % With Nibbler hot on the trail, the two of them rush out the room to % follow. Meanwhile, Bender is being taken on a ride through the many % catacombs inside Robot Hell. He is strapped down with chains to a % hand cart, with the Robot Devil in the seat behind him, whip in hand. Bender: I'm hallucinating this, right? Devil: [whips him] No, Bender, Robot Hell is quite real! Here's our brochure. [he hands Bender a brochure reading "Hell is Other Robots"] Bender: But I don't like things that are scary and painful. Devil: Sorry, Bender, you agreed to this when you joined our religion. If you sin, you go to Robot Hell for all eternity! Bender: Aw, hell. [panics] Oh, I mean, "heck." Devil: It's alright. You can say that here. % Nibbler's pursuit takes them to a ratty, run-down Atlantic City % amusement park called "Reckless Ted's Funland." Fry recognizes the % park, and explains to Leela that "it was shut down after all those % people got salmonella from the flume ride." They're dragged inside a % dark fun-house building labelled "The Inferno," and Leela spots a % button on the wall. The button is shaped like the Robotology symbol % seen throughout the episode, and once activated, it slides open a % particular funhouse mirror, revealing a window into the horrible % torture chambers of Robot Hell. Fry: Unbelievable! It's an actual, factual Robot Hell! Leela: Who would've thought Hell would really exist ... and that it would be in New Jersey? Fry: Actually ... % A trap door snaps underneath them, and they drop onto a long, winding % fun slide leading down into Hell. Meanwhile, Bender is having some % troubles of his own. [What follows now is the musical number. Thanks to Mattew Riley for checking all the lyrics against the closed captioning to ensure accuracy. To read the lyrics without the action descriptions, please see "Final Thoughts / Comments."] % Bender and the Devil are in a small sector of Hell marked "Level One," % accompanied by a Vegas-style band of metallic-red robots. Devil: We know _all_ your sins, Bender, and for each one we've prepared an agonizing and ironic punishment! Gentlemen? % He gestures to the band, who begin their up-tempo music. Hearing this % Bender woefully lifts a cigar to his mouth. Bender: Aw, crap ... singing! Mind if I smoke? % The Devil grabs Bender's cigar away, and rubs the flame out against % Bender's chest. [singing begins] Devil: Cigars are evil; you won't miss 'em. We'll find ways to simulate that smell. What a sorry fella, rolled up and smoked like a panatella. Here on level one of Robot Hell! % As he sings this, the Devil and a few of his helpers wrap Bender up % with a huge sheet of paper and set fire to his head, while one of them % inhales the other end and blows smoke-circles. Having learned his % first lesson, Bender is unravelled and dropped into another room % below. The room is furnished with an active poker table and a huge % roulette wheel. Bender lands into his own seat beside the table. Devil: Gambling's wrong and so is cheating, so is forging phony IOU's. Let's let lady luck decide what type of torture's justified. I'm pit boss here on level two. % Accompanying this verse, Bender is dealt a poker hand, and caught by % the Devil when he tries to cheat by swapping them with extra Aces he % has stored away in his chest cavity. Two kicklines of scantily clad % fem-bots entertain our hero, now strapped flat against the roulette % wheel, and wincing when the Devil sends him for a spin. His antennae % taps against the pins set up outside the wheel until he comes to a % stop, with the antennae pointing at the sector marked "Deep-Fry." The % Devil remarks "Ooh, deep-fried robot!" and throws Bender into an % oversized deep-frier, where he's lifted in and out of steaming-hot % grease. Bender: Just tell me why! Devil: Please read this fifty-five page warrant. Bender: There must be robots worse than I! Devil: We checked around, there really aren't. Bender: Then please let me explain; My crimes were merely boyish pranks. Devil: You stole from boy scouts, nuns, and banks! Bender: Aw, don't blame me, blame my upbringing! Devil: Please stop sinning while I'm singing! % Having been tossed out of the deep frier and placed on the floor to % perform this groveling of his, Bender uses the opportunity to swipe % the Devil's wallet when he momentarily turns away. The Devil % retaliates by ripping Bender's arm from its socket before he even % reaches the wallet, and then kicking him down through another hole to % another room below. On a table in this new room sit the three Beastie % Boys heads, who join in on the song. Devil: Selling bootleg tapes is wrong. Musicians need that income to survive. B-Boys: Hey Bender gonna make some noise With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys! [a few seconds of scratching noises] That's whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on level five! % The Devil lifts Bender up by the feet and shakes a swarm of bootlegged % Beastie Boys tapes from his chest cavity. He then reaches in and % removes Bender's "hard drive" (which looks like a traditional 20th- % century model), placing it in front of the Beastie Boys so that one of % them may scratch it back and forth with his tongue. We cut over to % Fry and Leela, who continue to twist and turn down an endless slide. Fry: I don't feel well. Leela: It's up to us to rescue him. Fry: Maybe he likes it here in hell. Leela: It's us who tempted him to sin. Fry: Maybe he's back at the motel. Leela: Come on Fry, don't be scared, I'm sure at least one of us will be spared. So just sit back; enjoy the ride. Fry: My ass has blisters from the slide. % They move on downward, with no end in sight. Back to Bender, who's % being taken further underground in an elevator, and helplessly % enduring the Devil's searching and rummaging through his chest cavity. % The Devil pulls out various items as examples of Bender's sins. When % the ride is over, the Devil kicks his companion out into a puddle of % slime and towers over him. Here's what the lyrics of this verse were: Devil: Fencing diamonds, fixing cockfights, Publishing indecent magazines. You'll pay for every crime, Knee-deep in electric slime. You'll suffer 'till the end of time, Enduring tortures, most of which rhyme. Trapped forever here in Robot Hell! % In a final extraveganze, the Devil tosses his tophat in the air, and % rows of yellow sparks explode from the ground like a garden of % fountains. When it all settles, the music turns to silence, and the % Robot Devil stands impatiently before Bender. Devil: [dryly] Of course, that's just for starters. [end of musical number] % Bender and the Devil are joined by Fry and Leela, who drop, screaming, % from the sky. They take one look at the Devil and jump back in fear. Fry: Bender, are you alright? Bender: [in anguish] No! Oh, they're tormenting me with up-tempo singing and dancing! Leela: [to Devil] Alright, Beelzebot, what'll it take to get our friend back? Devil: Sorry, but _I_ hold all the cards here. There's nothing you can do. Now, just sign this fiddle-contest waiver ... [he produces a contract and a pen; Leela prevents Fry from signing it on the spot] Leela: Wait ... what fiddle contest? Devil: [with blase] The "Fairness in Hell Act of 2275" requires me to inform you that if you can best me in a fiddle contest, you win back Bender's soul. As well as a solid-gold fiddle. Fry: Wouldn't a solid-gold fiddle weigh hundreds of pounds and sound crummy? Devil: Well, it's mostly for show. [he holds up the sparkling gold fiddle for them to see] Leela: [whispers to Fry] Do you know how to play the fiddle? Fry: [whispers back] No. Do you? Leela: [whispering] No, but I used to play the drums. They're sorta' similar. [to Devil] What happens if we lose? Devil: You'll only win a smaller silver fiddle. Also, I guess I'll kill one of you. Uh ... him. % He points at Fry, and Leela agrees to the conditions. Fry gasps at % each progression, but is helpless to stop the contest from enduring. % The Devil's turn comes first, and he displays some marvelous % handiwork, utilizing both his hand and his tail to play a quick % melody. The crew watch worriedly, and Bender sighs. "Well, we're % boned!" The Devil finishes his performance and hands the fiddle to % Leela. Leela's skills with the fiddle are complemented by each of her % friends cupping his hands over his ears. "Time for the drum solo," % she exclaims as she brings the golden fiddle down over Beelzebot's % head repeatedly, listening to his girlish screams, and then rushing % away, followed by Bender and Fry. % The natives of Hell swarm after our heros at the Devil's command, % among them being a species of oversized, metallic moths. The moths % shoot yellow, halo-shaped laser beams out of their tails at the % escaping fugitives, and swoop down over them. Thinking quickly, % Bender ducks and reaches up to yank the wings off of a low-flying % specimen, and attaches them to himself, allowing him to swoop down and % pull his friends from a tight situation involving pitchforks. (Ouch!) % As Bender flaps his new wings and carries his fellow refugees up % towards freedom, the Devil orders his minions to attack. "Stop them, % they cheated!" % One moth-bot takes its last chance to shower the three with laser % beams. Two of them miss, and one of them catches itself on Bender's % antennae, resting there for a moment. The "Hallelujah" chorus begins % playing out of nowhere to accompany Bender's rise from hell, donned % with a temporary halo. They're approaching the light from above fast, % but the circular opening is being pulled shut by the natives. Leela % urges Bender to hurry up, but Bender lashes back: "I _could_, if you'd % drop the stupid gold fiddle!" She apologizes and lets go of the % fiddle, sending it down into hell, for one last slam against the Robot % Devil's head. He whimpers. The crew slip through Hell's shrinking % exit at the last second, and find themselves flying above the Atlantic % City shoreline to safety. Fry and Leela are still in Bender's arms. [all three cheer] Bender: Don't worry, guys! I'll never be too good or too evil again. From now on, I'll just be me. Leela: Uh, do you think you could be just a little _less_ evil than that? Bender: I dunno ... do you think you could survive a 700-foot fall? Fry: [laughs] Good ol' Bender. % They fly into the distance. % End of Act Three (6:06) ======================================================================== = Contributers = {bk} Brendan Keane {jl3} John Lorentz {bm2} Ben Mann {jr} Jeremy Reaban {br} Benjamin Robinson {jr5} John Reblowski {cm} Carlos May {lp} Leandro Pardini {ct} Castor Troy {mm} Michael Morbius {ds} Dave Sweatt {pm4} Prez Midnite {hh} Heather Holder {rdb} Reznic de Bergerac {hl} Haynes Lee {rxs} Robert X. Smith {jf} Jeff Foster {sam} Steven Aaron Monroe {jk} Joe Klemm {th} Todd Hoppman {jl} Jake Lennington {tk} Timothy Kramp ======================================================================== Futurama and its characters are the ==== First uploaded: 06-Jul-1999 properties of 20th Century Fox. What ==== Revision D : 13-Mar-2000 kind of disclaimer is this? There's no ==== E-mail jedraw@earthlink.net copyright notice and only one hooker! ================================ By Jordan "Sailing Unit" Eisenberg. ================================