======================================================================== ============= THE FUTURAMA CHRONICLES ==== EPISODE CAPSULE ============= ======================================================================== Official Title: A Fishful of Dollars Episode Number: 1ACV06 (#6) First Airdate : Tuesday, April 27th, 1999 (8:30 PM) Written by : Patrick M. Verrone Directed by : Ron Hughart & Gregg Vanzo ======================================================================== = Additional tidbits = Opening theme promotion : LOADING.... Opening theme cartoon : 1932's "Betty Boop's Crazy Inventions" {rw} Subsequent Fox Airdates : 24-Oct-99 28-Apr-99 Nielsen ranking: 2nd in its timeslot (7.6 million) {dga} MPAA rating : TV-PG-L Length minus commercials : [21:16] ======================================================================== = Foxworld Synopsis = Fry discovers he's a billionaire because his savings have been accruing interest for 1,000 years. Caught up in the excitement of his riches, he squanders his fortune to buy an unopened can of anchovies -- extinct since the year 2200. What he doesn't realize is that Mom, the head of a mega-conglomorate, will do anything -- even use Pamela Anderson's head-in-a-jar -- to get her hands on those anchovies. ======================================================================== = Minutiae = - It's a full moon when Fry has trouble sleeping. - Unlike Bender, the robots in the apartment next door actually use the "closet space" given to them by Robot Arms. Don't they feel silly playing cards in the closet? :-) - Lightspeeds come in a 3-pack. {jb} - Leela wipes the egg-yolk off her face, but she misses a spot on her left cheek. - Dr. Zoidberg has the only swivel chair. {jb} - You can see Madison Cube Garden in the establishing shot after the crew runs out to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices. - Even though Dr. Zoidberg and Professor Farnsworth dash out with the rest of the crew to buy "brand-name merchandise at low, low prices," they're in the group once they arrive. - After Bender sprays oil on the intrusive Calvin Clone woman, guess who rides on the escalator behind them ... the teacher from Fry's dream! I guess Fry has ESP or something. - Various robot pieces such as arms, feet, eyes, etc. are all in their respective bins in Robot Accessories. - The survaillence cameras look like little vacuum cleaners. {jb} - One of the security robots passes Amy and Leela as it trails a shoplifting Bender. {jk} - Did you notice the 'subliminal' "mmm, tasty" in the Mom's Old- Fasioned Robot Oil commercial, as well as a split-second flicker? {jb} [That 'subliminal' message is actually just Bender speaking in the background.] - The screens displaying Mom's commercial aren't exactly in synch. In the screen all the way to the left, you can see a little more of Walt's arm (in the photo behind Mom) than in the center screen. - Among the things Bender shoplifts are a yo-yo and a lonely shoe. - You can actually see the security camera behind Fry as he enters his PIN number. - Fry's congratulatory banner is decorated with $ dollar signs. - When Leela and Fry shoot down those historic paintings, Fry's shot is the one that actually destroys the Mona Lisa, while Leela's veers off in the wrong direction. - Fry must've gotten those goggles Leela wore custom-made, unless one- eyed aliens are common enough on Earth to warrant the goggle company to make a single-eyed version. {jb} - In Fry's twentieth-century-recreated apartment, hanging on his wall, was that one of those Peter Nagel drawings from the Eighties? {mm} - Fry has a lava lamp. {jb} - Fry put Ted Danson's skeleton next to the radiator. {jb} - Rap music is considered classical music. {hl} - The 30th/31st century still has third-world kids. {jb} - After so much progress, it seems security cameras still put out black-and-white pictures. (Mom did call it "old-fashioned.") - Fry didn't have enough sense to lock his door. {jb} - There's a little yellow voodoo doll on Fry's mantlepiece with a pincushion next to it. {jb} - Fry has been watching static. {jb} - Did anybody notice that when Mom's guys knocked Fry unconscious to get his PIN number that they could have just stolen the sardines right off of his table? {jh2} [This isn't a goof, because they'd obviously overestimated Fry's intelligence and didn't bother searching his apartment.] - Apparently, the future offers tranquilizers in pill-form, and the pills can somehow take effect immediately. - The Panucci's Pizza set has no ceiling. {jb} - Walt (as Mr. Panucci) tells Fry to work the "currency register." - The only 3 items on the [Panucci's Pizza menu] are Cheese Pizza, Large Soda and Anchovies. {jb} - Did you see the poster on the wall behind Mom's oldest son when he was pretending to be Fry's boss? It was a poster of Nixon. {aa} - Pamela Anderson still has a nice pair (eyes, of course). {hl} - I still like the line, "What century is this?", (when he should be able to easily tell by visual clues as to the century). {zz} - Farnsworth is drinking strawberry milk. {jb} - Mom takes her checkbook out from inside her "fatsuit" cleavage. (Hey, those could act as two huge secret pockets!) - Mom's checkbook has a fancy "M" on the cover. - She's apparently right-handed. ======================================================================== = Parallels to Science Fiction = ~ "Red Dwarf" (TV show) - Red Dwarf had a similar joke where Lister left some change in a bank account and after 3 million years, he owns all the money in the world except for the electric company. He left a light on before leaving Earth. {lf} + "Star Wars" (movie) - Mom's sons are dressed like the Imperial Officers. {jb} ======================================================================== = Other References = + "A Fistful of Dollars" (movie) - The name of this episode, "A Fishful of Dollars," parodies an old (1964) Italian motion picture by the name of "A Fistful of Dollars." It was a western, and was about a mysterious gunslinger that comes to a desolate town and becomes involved with two warring clans. It starred Clint Eastwood. {mr} + "Baby Got Back" (1992 Sir Mix-A-Lot song) - According to Leela, the 31st century's definition of "classical" music is apparently this genre of early-1990's (c)rap. ... as opposed to the early-1980's, late-1980's and late-1990's variety of (c)rap. [See "Final Thoughts/Comments" for the full lyrics.] + Charles Atlas - What Fry looked like in mirror. {hl} ~ "Cheers" (TV show) - Sitcom with Ted Danson. + "Baywatch" (TV show) - Fry may remember Pamela Anderson's head from such oscar-winning pictures as "Baywatch: The Movie." + "Calvin Klein" (cologne) - Calvin Klone. {jk} ~ "Doom" (video game) - In Robot Accessories, the robot torsos that hang on the wall look like the armor power-ups used in this game. ~ "Hogan's Heroes" (TV show) - Bender does a great impression of Colonel Klink. {jb} ~ "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" (TV show) - The scene with them blowing up the Mona Lisa reminded me of the LNWCO with Hunter S. Thompson. [...] Hunter S. Thompson and Conan sat around blowing stuff up with high powered weapons while a guy brought them drinks from the outdoor wet bar. {mo} + "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots" (game) - The antique robot toy. {jk} + "Saatchi & Saatchi" (ad agency) - "Staadgi & Staadgi" strikes me as a reference to the power ad agency of about 5-10 years ago (they've had some upheavals since), Saatchi & Saatchi. (I worked one summer as a Creative Intern for a subdivision of S&S in the Chrysler Building in NYC.) I can't imagine what the connection to "Futurama" could be. The only thing relevant I can think of is that one of the Saatchi brothers is known for his art collection (hence the cartoon's auction house name). {mc} + "Sanford and Son" (TV show) - What Fry was watching. {hl} + "The Three Stooges" (TV show) - Larry, Walt and Igner are the clones of Larry, Moe and Curly. {jb} ======================================================================== = Freeze Frame Fanaticism = >> Ancient Egyptian Algebra {jb} (eye) ----- = (squiggle)(man)+(delta) 2 h4<=a^2+(squiggly lines, water?) (scales?)+(can opener?) . (eye) ----------------------- . . ----- 34r^2 (sideways omega?) >> Various stores / buildings - Alien Overlord & Taylor - NNYPD ASK ABOUT OUR GENEROUS BRUTALITY SETTLEMENTS - BAB | BIG APPLE | BANK - LE SPA - ORIGINAL COSMIC RAY'S PIZZA - HISTORIC 20th-CENTURY APTS. [WITH ORIGINAL ASBESTOS] - STAADGI & STAADGI AUCTIONEERS - MOM'S friendly robot company >> Other signs - COSMETICS - LIGHTSPEED BRIEFS as seen in your dreams - OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN THEY APPEAR. - ROBOT ACCESSORIES - NOW OFFERING BANK-BY-BRAIN - CONGRATULATIONS, FRY - MENU Cheese pizza Large soda Anchovies - ROBO-REPO >> Robot Accessories {jb} Eyes Arms Feet Robot oil Torsos >> Robot Oil can MOM'S OLD-FASHIONED ROBOT OIL >> Mom's logo MOM'S OLD-FASHIONED [oil ROBOT OIL can] Made with 10% more love than the next leading brand >> Stuff that falls out of Bender's sweater {jb} Toothpaste Robot oil A yo-yo (?) Pink boxes(turn to brown between shots) A wallet A red baseball cap Liquor bottles A shoe >> PIN machine prompts; Fry's ATM card # - SLIDE CARD ENTER PIN - 5431000892 >> Anchovy tin [man] ANGRY NORWEGIAN ANCHOVIES >> January 2000 calendar JANUARY 2000 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 >> Poster in the phony Panucci's Pizza set - NIXON'S THE ONE ======================================================================== = Goofs = - In Fry's dream, his classmates keep switching seats. Fry himself moves from a middle seat to the aisle seat, and a girl who was sitting behind him moves into his old seat. - The Ancient Egyptian Algebra formulas change between shots. {jb} - Fry's pillow looks like it's half-floating in midair, propped up against nothing. - The egg on Leela's cheek disappears after the camera cuts back from Fry. {jb} - The table in the PE lounge keeps changing its length. First, it's a small square, almost like a card table. Then, it's shaped like a big, dining room table. - Why didn't Bender just store the Robot Oil inside his chest cavity? - Bender only puts four Robot Oil cans into his sweater, but there are six bulges when he walks away. The sweater was clearly empty when he started. - Fry says he's poor, yet he has three major credit cards in his wallet that he at least thinks he can use. - A small pink box falls out of Bender's sweater, but when the 'camera' cuts to a closeup of Bender and then cuts back out, the box is brown. {jb} - In the beginning, the main room in Fry's and Bender's apartment contains little more than a bed and a night stand. Later on, it's fully furnished. - If New New York is vaulted over the ruins of 20th century New York (per the pilot), then how come that old apartment building that Fry lived in while rich is up on the modern street level? {ac} - In 1ACV04, Leela used a 20th-century style reciever when calling Zapp. Is Amy so out of touch with the antiquated workings of the ship that she didn't know what that thing was, either? {jb} - Your standard VHS tape will start to deteriorate in quality after a short period of time. If left unwatched for an entire millenium, I doubt you'd be able to decipher _anything_, and that includes the audio. - Fry doesn't actually kiss his can of anchovies, his lips just sort of hang in the air and never touch the can when he's going "mwuh." {jb} - All Fry said about Panucci's Pizza was "back where I used to work." How'd Mom and her sons figure out the rest of the story? - There already is a "Baywatch" movie. However, it is only a direct- to-video release. {jk} - The Robo-Repo truck disappears. - The carton of milk next to Farnsworth changes from gray to pink. {jb} - The opened tin of anchovies next to the pizza rotates 180 degrees. - Bender spits out the anchovy pizza even though according to MG he doesn't have any taste buds. {jb} [Maybe it's the natural robot oil in the anchovies that makes him dislike eating it.] ======================================================================== = Extended Goofs / Technical Nitpicks = >> So much for my Get-Rich-Quick idea! Probably the most obvious plot hole the show has given us yet; there are just so many things wrong with Fry disappearing for a millenium, returning to an active bank account, and becoming rich off the compound interest. Why wasn't Fry declared dead after 7 years, and all his bank account closed? Why hasn't inflation decreased the value of the dollar at all over 1,000 years? Why was the bank's interest rate _larger_ than whatever inflation was present? Why wasn't the bank destroyed in either of the two alien attacks? Why didn't the measley 93 cent account shrivel up and die from mere bank fees regardless of the decidedly high compound interest? Why did Fry bother to have a bank account when the only savings he had was 93 cents? Why did a high-profile bank like BAB even let him open an account with so little money? John Wasser: The quoted average interest rate for tonights episode was 2.25% compounded by 1000 years makes for interest of 460,592,306,400%. A principle of $0.93 would have a future value of: $4,283,508,450.00 (roughly $4.3B). At 2.25% he would make about $96M/year in interest. Steve Brinich: The pair of fancy briefs (I forget the brand name, but then I never did remember dreams very often) was $30, and bailing out Bender was $80, so the value of a dollar is at least within an order of magnitude of its real-world value. Benjamin Robinson: I think they revalued the money so that, say, $100,000 Year1999 dollars equals $1 Year3000 dollar. Germany did something similar in switching from the Mark to the ReichMark. Louis Silverman: The alien attacks probably shot the economy down so it is just returning to its original value. (Kinda like how it took about 1100 years to return to a money-driven society after the Roman Empire.) See "Final Thoughts/Comments" for a funny joke about all of this. ======================================================================== = Reviews = Dale G. Abersold: Assuming that "Futurama" will be a big hit and last for several seasons (and it's sure looking like the show will be around for awhile), "A Fishful of Dollars" may become one of the all- time most beloved episodes for one simple reason: Mom. Yes, "The Simpsons" has its evil characters in Sideshow Bob and Mr. Burns, but for sheer maliciousness and hatefulness, they can't hold a candle to the evil that is Mom. With a grotesque character design and an evil voice courtesy of Tress MacNeille, Mom is a terrific villain. Here's hoping we see more of her. "Fishful" was very funny, but, happily, that's become par for the course. It was the introduction of this new villain that made this episode a standout in an already excellent first season. "Futurama" is exceeding my high expectations for the show. (A-) Joe Klemm: Today's episode is the obvious man-gets-rich-dumps-friends- loses-money-apologizes-to-friends episode, which turned out to be dull for the Futurama version. However, there were a few clever moments, like Fry's second dream, and the doctor wanting more anchovies, but it was nothing more than a weak episode of the show. (C-) Haynes Lee: Another major character introduced but the ending was a bit abrupt. (B) Yours Truly: One of this season's better episodes. As usual, the plot somehow brushes itself against a multitude of different though- provoking concepts without actually going out of its own way. Mom was good, and it was funny, but in the end it's not the most original story they've ever come up with. (A) Average Grade: [19/4=4.75] (B) ======================================================================== = Final Thoughts / Comments = >> Urban Legend Alert Haynes Lee: Subliminal messages in advertising are ineffective, but outlawed anyway. Based on a bogus advertising survey based on ads flashed momentarily on movie screen. >> Style and comfort for the impulse-buying crotch Rick Carlson: Anyone care to wager how long we'll have to wait before "Merchandising" produces LightSpeed briefs for Futurama fans? Mom's Old-Fashioned Robot Oil may not have an immediate market, but the briefs would be popular, as well as spin-offs, such as kids pajamas, etc. >> If there's a bad banking joke, I haven't heard it! Amanda Cohen relates the plot to an old joke: A guy has himself put in suspended animation so he can see what the future is like. Five hundred years later, he wakes up and immediately runs to a phone to call his bank, which had been notified of his plans. The banker says "Well, your account is now worth eight billion dollars." The guy says "That's great! I'm rich! I'm rich!!" Just then the operator cuts in and says "Please deposit ten billion dollars for the next three minutes." >> Sorry, no anti-eye-cancer experiments Melanie Mayfield: What a coincidence! There was supposedly an "experimental" high-definition broadcast that evening -- at least I recall seeing some ad about showing Leno -(I think?)- in HD one night. But, that's NBC, not FOX. Maybe the tattoo gag was a poke at NBC, eh? Or maybe it was just a coincidence ... >> Baby got staying power For those curious, Vince Yim gies us the full lyrics to Baby Got Back: "What can I say? I used to love that song when I was 14. Biggest song around, even when rap was fading from popularity and Grunge was being the next big thing (C). Artist: Sir Mix-a-Lot Album: Mack Daddy Song: Baby Got Back *talking* Oh my god Becky, look at her butt It is so big She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends Who understands those rap guys They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute I mean her butt It's just so big I can't believe it's so round It's just out there I mean, it's gross Look, she's just so black *rap* I like big butts and I can not lie You other brothers can't deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste And a round thing in your face You get sprung Wanna pull up front Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed Deep in the jeans she's wearing I'm hooked and I can't stop staring Oh, baby I wanna get with ya And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But with that butt you got Me so horney Ooh, all of that smooth skin You say you wanna get in my benz Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy I've seen them dancin' The hell with romancin' Sweat, sweat, got it goin like a turbo vette I'm tired of magazines Saying flat butts are the thing Take the average black man and him that She gotta pack much back Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah) Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah) Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt Baby got back (LA face with Oakland booty) I like'em round and big And when I'm throwin a gig I just can't help myself I'm actin like an animal Now here's my scandal I wanna get you home And --, double up -- -- I aint talkin bout playboy Cuz silicone parts were made for toys I wannem real thick and juicy So find that juicy double Mixalot's in trouble Beggin for a piece of that bubble So I'm lookin' at rock videos Watchin' these bimbos walkin like hoes You can have them bimbos I'll keep my women like Flo Jo A word to the thick soul sistas I wanna get with ya I won't cus or hit ya But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna -- Til the break of dawn I got it goin on Alot of pimps won't like this song Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it But I'd rather stay and play Cuz I'm long and I'm strong And I'm down to get the friction on So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah) If you wanna role in my Mercedes (yeah) Then turn around Stick it out Even white boys got to shout Baby got back (LA face with the Oakland booty) Yeah baby When it comes to females Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection 36-24-36 Only if she's 5'3" So your girlfriend throws a Honda Playin workout tapes by Fonda But Fonda and got motor in the back of her Honda My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt Some brothers wanna play that hard role And tell you that the butt and gold So they toss it and leave it And I pull up quick to retrieve it So cosmo says you're fat Well I aint down with that Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin And I'm thinkin bout stickin To the beanpole dames in the magazines You aint it miss thing Give me a sista I can't resist her Red beans and rice didn't miss her Some knucklehead tried to dis Cuz his girls were on my list He had game but he chose to hit 'em And pulled up quick to get with 'em So ladies if the butt is round And you wanna triple X throw down Dial 1-900-mixalot and kick them nasty thoughts Baby got back" >> Not quite a mastermind of the highest order Here's a list of everything that Larry, Walt and Igner misconceived in their attempt to recreate Panucci's Pizza and the year 2000. And Fry _still_ didn't clue himself in to what was going on! - It looked nothing like Fry's real workplace. In fact, it didn't look much like _anything_ but some sort of poorly designed and decorated cubicle in a big warehouse. - Panucci lost about 100 pounds and was temporarily wearing a fake mustache for some reason. - Panucci somehow knows what Fry was dreaming about right away. - Fry's job was Delivery Boy, not Currency Register Operator. - The calendar on the wall was one day off. The 1st of January should be on a Saturday, and the 31st on a Monday. - The menu showed nothing but the two relevant items and anchovies. - 'Panucci' says anchovies aren't extinct "yet," and refers to 2000 as "1,000 years ago." - There's a Nixon poster on the wall. - Pamela Anderson simply looked ridiculous. - She mentions a movie that wasn't even made or awarded its Oscar yet. - She forgets her line and has to have someone in the back room yell it to her. - The order was fulfilled so quickly, it's almost as if they were anticipating it ... ======================================================================== = Fun Stuff = >> Alien Language #1 sightings TV Guide ad (not in actual episode): "NO ONE MESSES WITH MOM" >> References to Previous Episodes - [1ACV01] Head museam {hl} - [1ACV01] Bender says he's "boned" - [1ACV02] 30th century casette tapes shown >> Fan-made Alternate Titles for this Episode "Futuristic Pizza" {bc} "In Man's Best Interest" {ksp} "Mother, Can You Spare a Fry?" "So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish" "The Good, the Bad and the Salty" {hl} ======================================================================== = Voice Credits = >> Starring Billy West ..................... Fry, "Lightspeed" voice, Farnsworth, human PO, Zoidberg, auctioneer Katey Sagal ................................................... Leela John DiMaggio ........................ Bender, pizzaria robot, Igner, Robo-Repo worker >> Special Appearances Pamela Anderson ............................... her own head in a jar >> Guest Starring Tress MacNeille .................. Fry's teacher, Calvin Clone woman, cosmetics lady, Mom, bank teller, crab woman Maurice LaMarche ............................................... Walt Phil LaMarre ................................................. Hermes Lauren Tom ...................................................... Amy Dave Herman ...................... squeaky robot, Underwear Salesman, Petridge Farm voice, Larry = Quotes and Scene Summaries = % It's late at night in the Robot Arms apartment building, and Fry can't % sleep. There's a constant squeaking noise eminating in the room, % which becomes so irritating that Fry bursts up in bed with his hands % over his ears. Fry: [gasps] I ... can't ... take it anymore. They've been at it for hours! [knocks on the wall] Give it a rest, you two! % We pan over to the apartment next door. It's a small, nearly empty % room occupied by two robots, whose torsoes are shaped like springs and % are contracting and expanding, while their upper bodies bounce up and % down. The robots are playing cards at a table. One robot reaches % over to the shelf, grabs a can marked "oil," and pours some into his % joints. He yells "Sorry!" through the wall. % End of Act One (0:22) % Back in his bed at night, Fry is fast asleep, and a dream sequence % begins. He dreams he's sitting in a crowded classroom, and the % teacher (an old woman) greets them. Teacher: Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam. Fry: [raising his hand] Uh, excuse me, I missed a few lectures. What subject is this? Teacher: [points to the chalkboard] Ancient Egyptian Algebra! % The chalkboard, we see, is crammed with minute equations, including % numers, letters, heiroglyphics and some nonsensical characters. Fry % gasps "What a nightmare!" and the teacher points out to him that he's % wearing nothing but his underwear. The class laughs. Teacher: Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson about LightSpeed-brand Briefs. % She uncurls an overhead map on the wall, but instead of a map it's a % diagram of a pair of stylish red underwear. A smarmy announcer's % voice and some cheesy rock music come out of nowhere, and he begins % telling us about LightSpeed Briefs as if it were a commercial. Announcer: LightSpeed fits today's active lifestyle, wheather you're on the job or having fun. LightSpeed Briefs ... style and comfort for the discriminating crotch! % As he speaks, we're shown Fry reenacting the scenarious described, % while wearing a pair of LightSpeeds. Then a final logo of the briefs % is seen, and Fry sits up in bed screaming. He comments on the weird % dream he just had, and about how he'll never get back to sleep. He % does, though, almost instantly. The next morning, the crew are % gathered around the table in the Planet Express TV room, and we join % their conversation already in progress. Fry: So, you're telling me they broadcast commercials into peoples' dreams? Leela: Of course! Fry: But how is that possible? Prof.: It's very simple. The ad gets into your brain, just like this liquid gets into this egg. % Farnsworth holds up an egg, and injects a needle (filled with yellow % fluid) into it. That very second, the egg explodes, pelting everyone % at the table with egg-yolk. Prof.: [unphased] Although, in reality it's not liquid, but gamma radiation. Fry: That's awful. It's like brainwashing. Leela: Didn't you have ads in the 20th century? Fry: Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines. And movies. And at ball games ... on buses and milk cartons and t-shirts and bananas and written on the sky ... but not in dreams. No siree. Bender: Quit squawking, fleshwad. Nobody's _forcing_ you to buy anything. Amy: Yeah, I mean, we all had commercials in our dreams, but you don't see us running out to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices. % Amy's comment leaves the crew pondering for a minute. They all burst % out of their seats at once, and out of the room. Later, at the "Alien % Overlord & Taylor" mall, some annoying violin music plays incessantly % over the loudspeakers. They enter the mall and immediately start % going their seperate ways. Amy and Bender are confronted by a lady % holding a perfume bottle, which is "the latest fragrance from Calvin % Clone." % When Amy declines a free sample, the lady happily sprays her anyway, % and Amy runs off cursing, with a pink cloud of perfume trailing along % with her. The lady then moves on to Bender, and before he can even % finish saying "no thanks," she puffs a big, smelly cloud at him. % Bender looks at her in awe for a moment, then a little pipe with a % nozzle at the end extends from his mouth and covers her from head to % toe in oil. She coughs, and we cut over to Leela, who's being % examined by a beauty consultant. Woman: What a lovely face! We just need to draw attention _away_ from the eye area. % From behind Leela's head, we watch the woman apply some objects to % Leela's face, and some electric sparks sizzle for a moment. When % she's done, she raises up a mirror, and we both see that Leela's lips % have now been outlined with a thick, white line. Leela groans. % Meanwhile, Fry is examining an in-store display for LightSpeed briefs % ("As Seen in Your Dreams") and carries a 3-pack over to the man at the % counter. Fry: Can I try these on before I buy them? Man: I'm afraid I can't let you open the package, but you can try on the demo pair. % The man lifts up a beat-up, smelly pair of LightSpeeds from behind the % counter (holding it at the end of a stick), and sprays it with an air- % freshener. In a try-on booth, Fry (now undressed) slides on the demo % pair and flexes his muscles for the mirror. Despite his actual % appearance, the mirror depicts him with a heavy, muscular figure, and % even depicts two fictional women in bikinis standing beside him. Fry % is disappointed to see a small sticker in the corner of the mirror % which says "OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN THEY APPEAR." % While Amy and Leela search through racks of clothes, Bender is in the % nearby Robot Accessories department, shoplifting. He sneaks up on a % display for "Mom's Old-Fashioned Robot Oil" wearing a light-green % sweater, and stuffs as many cans as he can under it. With his sweater % stretched and stuffed to the brim, he waddles over to where Amy and % Leela are, and when Amy compliments his new sweater, he stutters % uncomfortably, tries to act innocent, and waddles away. A small, red % object that looks like a security camera floats overhead and follows % him. Meanwhile, Fry is tapping his fingers at the counter while the % man price-scans his package of LightSpeeds. [price-scanner beeps] Man: Thirty dollars, please. Fry: [incredulous] Thirty dollars? I can't afford that. Unless ... [looks inside his wallet] ... do you take VISA? Man: VISA hasn't existed for 500 years. Fry: American Express? Man: 600 years. Fry: Discover Card? Man: [cheerful] Sorry, we don't take Discover. [the rest of the gang walk over] Amy: Hey, he's springing for LightSpeeds? Pretty ritzy. Fry: Naw, I can't afford them. Bein' poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everyone can afford? Amy: Quiet, there's an ad coming on! % They all look over at a grid of TV screens on the wall. All the % screen displays are simultaneous, and we zoom in on one of them. It % depicts an old woman sitting in her rocking chair by the fireplace. % On the wall behind her is a picture of three young men. Some % sickeningly sweet music plays and she addresses the audience with % "Hello, shoppers, it's me, Mom" in a tender voice. Fry: Who's the rocker jockey? Amy: G'uh! It's Mom, the world's most huggable industrialist. Mom: Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well ... that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old-Fashioned Robot Oil. [holds up a can] And, remember, Mom's Robot Oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand. Disclaimer: "Mom," "Love" and "Screen Door" are registered trademarks of Mom-Corp. % The ad ends, and Bender starts to struggle under the weight of the % stolen merchandise in his shirt. A lot of squeaking and grinding % comes from inside his sweater, and Fry comments that maybe Bender % could use some of Mom's oil. A few cans fall out of the sweater and % clunk onto the floor, a swarm of red security cameras (seen earlier) % collects overhead, and two Peace Officers turn towards him. Bender: [matter-of-factly] I'm boned. Officer: Freeze, scuzz-bot! Bender: Uh, there's obviously been some sort of a mistake here. [More stuff falls out of his sweater, onto the floor.] I'm sure there's ... [more stuff falls] I say, I'm _sure_ there's ... [more] That is, I'm sure there's a _very reasonable_ ... [more] % Bender is starting to attract the attention of other people. He's now % standing knee-deep in a pile of stolen merchandise, his sweater still % bloated, and the Peace Officers are looking at him sternly. The scene % changes to the NNYPD building, where Fry, Leela and Amy are emptying % their pockets for an officer. A pile of coins sits on the counter. Amy: Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine? Fry: [counting] 78 ... 79 ... 79.50! Crud, we're 50 cents short. Leela: [resentful] I'd love to chip in, but Bender stole my wallet. % Fry looks out the window and sees the exterior of the "Big Apple % Bank." He recognizes it as his old bank, and speculates that his % account might still be open. So they visit the bank, and as Fry % stands in line for the bank teller, he leans over to let a tiny camera % zooms in and out on his eyeball. His two friends stand beside him. % The teller (a woman) types at her computer. Teller: Hmmm, we don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint _or_ your colonic map on file. Fry: Well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card? [she dusts off an old ATM machine and plops it on the counter] Teller: Do you still remember your PIN number? Fry: [scanning his card] Sure. It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work; Panucci's Pizza. Teller: Okay! [reading her screen] You had a balance of 93 cents ... Fry: [smarmy; to his friends] Alright! Teller: And, at an average of 2.25% interest over a period of 1,000 years, that comes to ... 4.3 billion dollars. % Fry stares. Fry has trouble breathing. Fry waters at the mouth, and % he faints while his friends watch, concerned. % End of Act Two (5:51) % A banner is hung across the wall: "Congratulations, Fry!" The crew % all give a toast to him. We're in their apartment in Robot Arms, the % place is lavishly decorated, and Fry sits on the couch smoking a % cigar, watching his friends mingle. As the end of the cigar starts to % deteriorate, an ashtray with tiny, mechanical legs runs across the % table and catches the ashes, then runs away again. Nibbler is sluring % up his own glass of champaigne next to the couch. Bender and Leela % talk to each other by the window, wearing fancy clothing. Leela: I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top- hats? Bender: Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle. % Bender reaches into his chest cavity and pulls one out, then puts it % over one eye. He gestures at it, egging for Leela's response. The % party scene quickly ends and it's the beginning of a music montage as % we see all the things Fry spends his newly acquired wealth on. First, % we travel to Le Spa, where Fry and Leela enjoy full-body massages, and % a man in overalls gives Bender a buffing. Bender moans. % Next, the three of them walk down a wall of paintings, including such % masterpieces as the Screamer and Mona Lisa. They point to the Mona % Lisa, and a man happily removes it from the wall for them. The % painting is then loaded into a catapult and shot into the air so that % our stars can shoot high-tech laser weapons at it, and it explodes % midair in a thousand pieces. % The montage ends at a small restaurant off the streets of NNYC, % Original Cosmic Ray's Pizza. The crew sits in a booth by the window % (clockwise from the window: Leela, Bender, Dr. Zoidberg, Fry, % Professor Farnsworth, Amy), and a robot with a chefs' hat is % approching them. Fry: Pizza dinner on me! [they all cheer] [business-like] Just keep the tab under 50 million dollars. Robot Chef: [brooklyn accent] Yo! [whistles] I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza you'se guys want? Fry: Uh, yeah, we'll have, uh ... one with everything but anchovies and, uh, one with my all-time favorite topping, anchovies! Robot Chef: [rigidly] Invalid Selection. [loosely] Yo, whaddaya talkin' about? Fry: Anchovies! You know, those little, headless fish? Robot Chef: [rigidly] Does not compute. Does not compute. [his head explodes] Prof.: I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's. Fry: [shocked] What!? Prof.: Oh my, yes. Fished to death. Just about the time your people arrived on Earth, wasn't it, Zoidberg? Zoidberg: I'm not on trial here. Fry: So, none of you have ever had anchovies? Oh man, you don't know what you're missing. [dreamy] They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth, and ... Zoidberg: [uneasy] Stop! Stop! I admit it. [shamefully] My people ate them all. We kept saying one more can't hurt and then they were all gone. We're sorry! Fry: [sighs] I just wish I could've showed you guys how great they were. I may be rich, but I still can't buy back all the things I miss from the 20th century. Bender: Maybe you're forgetting just how rich you are. % Bender puts his monocle back on, and gestures accordingly. A short % scene follows in which Fry shakes hands with the owner of "Historic % 20th Century Apartments," and the crew inspects his newly purchased % living quarters. Leela stands by the fireplace, Amy examines the % telephone, and Bender sits in an armchair looking at the TV. Fry: So, whaddaya think? Leela: I know you spent a lot of money on this place, Fry, but it's awfully primitive. [stomps her foot] The floors are made of such hard wood! Bender: Hey, get a load of this pathetic 20th century TV. Fry: What's wrong with it? Bender: Well, aside from causing eye cancer, these things had a lousy, low-definition picture. Amy: That's true. One a TV like this I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tatoo. % Amy rolls up her sleeve, and everyone leans over to read what's % written on her arm. They all giggle, and Leela says it's cute, but % all we can see on Amy's arm is a greyish blur. The scene changes yet % again to the "Staadgi & Staadgi Auctioneers" building, where the % auctioneer has just declared another sale. Fry (sitting in the crowd % next to Leela and Bender) was apparently the highest bidder, and Leela % leans over to whisper to him. Leela: I just don't get it. Who was this "Ted Danson," and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton? Fry: I have an idea for a sitcom. Bender: Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money ... that's okay. Leela: _You're_ just saying that 'cause he bought you that antique robot toy. Bender: [giggles] Yeah, it is cute. % Zoom out a little to show what's in Bender's lap. It's a "Rock 'Em % Sock 'Em Robot" game, which Bender reaches down to play with. He gets % his robot to punch the other one twice, and the opponent's head comes % shooting off. Bender is horrified. Meanwhile, the auctioneer's % assistant holds up a small, tin object for all to see. Auctioneer: Now, our final item ... this unopened can of Angry Norwegian-brand anchovies, circa 1997. Fry: [happy] Anchovies? Auctioneer: The last known can in existence, guaranteed fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000? % Fry instantly bids $15,000. Another man bids $20,000, and a woman in % the front row who appears to be the same species as Dr. Zoidberg bets % $40,000. Fry raises the bid to $50,000. Leela tries to convince him % not to blow his money on a can of old fish, but Fry retorts. Seconds % before the bid is closed at Fry's offer, an old woman in the back bids % $75,000. The crowd gasps and turns around, and the old woman turns % out to be Mom, the world's most huggable industrialist, in person. Leela: Oh my God, it's Mom! I've never seen her in person before. Fry: [yelling to the auctioneer] One-hundred-thousand! [crowd murmurs] Leela: Fry, you can't bet against Mom, she's the richest, most powerful person in the world! And she's _so_ adorable. % Mom has the back corner of the auction hall fenced off with velvet % rope. Three young men sit in three chairs behind her. She stands up % to peek inside her purse and decides she can go as high as $300,000. % The bidding alternates from there to $500,000 to $1 million to $2 % million to 6 to 14 ... Mom's voice remains sweet and tender for the % most part, but whenever she yells out her number it becomes % suspiciously raspy and ill-tempered. Mom: I can see the nice young man really wants those little fish. Nevertheless ... I'll bid 23 million. Fry: [powerfully] One jillion dollars! [crowd gasps] Auctioneer: Sir, that's not a number. [crowd gasps] Fry: Oh, in that case ... 50 million. [crowd gasps again] Mom: [to the men behind her] Well, boys ... your old mother knows when she's been beat. [to Fry] You win, young man. I tip my bonnet to you. % Everyone in the hall goes "Aww ... " and praises her class act. The % auctioneer declares the sale: "Sold to the gentleman who bought every % item in today's auction!" The crowd boos and Fry leers back at % everyone from his seat. Later that day, Fry is sitting in his new % apartment with the lights turned low. All of his recent purchases lie % scattered about the room, and he pries the lid off of a crate full of % VHS tapes. He inserts a tape into his VCR and sits down for some % "good ol' 20th century TV." Although we can't see the screen, we hear % some spaced-out banjo riffs, and the voice of an old man comes on. Voice: Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers. Fry: [dreamy] Oh, those were the days. Voice: Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers. % Leela knocks on the door and he invites her in. The TV goes off and % the lights come on, and Bender enters the room behind Leela. Leela: You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing? Fry: I've been sitting right here. I picked up my life exactly where I left off 1,000 years ago. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's 8:00. Time to get busy. [pronounced "bizzay"] % Fry turns on the stereo next to him, and some rap music comes on. The % words "I like big butts and I cannot lie; You other brothers can't % deny" are heard from the song, but Leela quickly turns the music off % and stands looming over Fry. Leela: You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music. Fry: I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo. Leela: Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past. Fry: I'm rich. I can live whenever I want. Leela: But we're your friends, and we live _here_, in the year 3000. Bender: Yeah. Now, are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk? Fry: Junk?! Maybe you can't understand this, but I've finally found what I need to be happy, and it's not friends. It's things. Bender: [sadly] _I'm_ a thing ... Fry: Just leave me alone. % He opens the door for them both to leave. Leela tries once more to % reason with him, but he slams the door in her face mid-sentence. She % knocks once more to say that her ponytail is caught in the door, but % Fry ignores her entirely. Fry: [to himself] I don't need them. Not when I have my antique videos, my bucket of fossilized KFC and 50 million dollars worth of anchovies. % Fry holds up the tin of anchovies and lays a big, wet kiss on it. % Elsewhere in the city, there is an intimidating buliding labelled % "Mom's Friendly Robot Company." Inside, Mom is being led by her three % companions, named Larry, Walt and Igner, through two huge chamber % doors (complete with security guards) into her office. Mom: Mercy me, what a day! Could you shut the door, Igner, dear? I think I feel a draft coming on. % One of them runs over and shuts the door behind them. The other two % give Mom some room, so she can stand upright. Once she does so, % though, she begins a bit of a transformation. Her arms all of a % sudden go completely limp, and we hear a zipper unzip. A woman much % thinner and more agile than the Mom we know steps right out of an % opening in the front of her body, leaving behind nothing but a large, % hollow woman with no head. Mom: Holy crap, that bastard's itchy! [snaps fingers] Walt, cream soda! Walt: Right away, mother. [turns around] Larry, get your mother a cream soda. Larry: But, Mom said ... [Walt slaps him] Walt: You heard me! % Larry fetches a cream soda and hands it to the leaner, thinner Mom. % For a moment, nothing happens as she drinks down her soda and paces % back and forth. She empties the can, throws it on the floor, and % stares cruelly out the tall office window while some cars zoom by. Igner: What's wrong, Mommy? Mom: It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag, Fry, must know their secret, and I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom! % She finds this last statement of hers rather funny, and chuckles to % herself. The chuckle becomes a laugh, and then an evil roar. Walt % laughs along with her, and then her two other sons copy him, but then % Walt stops laughing and slaps Larry across the face. Walt: Quiet, you! % End of Act Three (7:14) % Back in Mom's headquarters, the three boys stand attentfully before % their mother. Mom sits at her desk holding a can of her own robot % oil, and there is a large monitor on the wall next to her. Further % down the wall, her "fat-suit," the fake outer body that she'd been % wearing up until now, stands empty, and Igner is examining it. Mom: As you boys know, one of the cornerstones of my empire is "Mom's Old-Fashioned Robot Oil." [slams the can on her desk] Think of it ... 10 billion robots, each one needing an oil change every 3,000 miles. You don't have to do the math to know that's a butload of oil. Igner: Can I wear your fat-suit? Mom: [yells] No, Igner, put that down! [Igner groans] Walt: What does this have to do with the anchovies? Mom: I'm _getting_ to the freaking anchovies! % Mom picks up a remote control and turns on the screen to her left. It % displays a 3-dimensional model of a living anchovy. From here on, the % monitor will compliment her every word with visual aides. Mom: A single drop of the anchovies' natural oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently. Larry: Wow, it's a shame it went extinct. Mom: [yells] No, it isn't, shut your filthy clam! [Walt slaps him] Thank you, Walt. [she turns back to the screen] If anyone ever got hold of anchovy DNA, they could chop out the oil-making gene, stick it in a bunch of third-world kids, and _BAM_ ... cheap, effective oil. Enough to put dear old Mom out of business. Walt: [strategically] My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order. % We cut to Fry's apartment, where Fry is watching TV in the dark. The % "Sanford & Son" theme song plays. Fry is resting his glass of water % on top of his tin of anchovies. We hear someone on TV yell "Esther, % you ugly!," and Fry laughs. Cut back to Mom's office. Mom: We have only one option. We'll have to bankrupt Mr. Fry, so he'll be forced to sell the anchovies to us. Walt: Mother, you are one clever old scag. Mom: And don't you forget it. Larry: But, how are we supposed to get Fry's money out of the bank? Mom: That part will be easy, thanks to the people at Mom's Old- Fashioned Video Surveillance Unit. % Mom refers to the screen once more, and pops a tiny cassete tape into % the VCR. We see a low-quality, black-and-white video taken when Fry % was visiting the Big Apple Bank earlier in the episode. The scene is % reenacted where Fry enters his PIN number and states that it was the % price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back at Panucci's Pizza, only % from the POV of the ceiling. Mom replays that last scene twice for % emphasis. Mom: You know what needs to be done. Igner: [pause] What? Mom: [yells] Get his PIN number, you idiot! [calm] Now, I'm off to some charity B.S. for knocked-up teenage sluts. % Mom is wearing her fat-suit again, and she leaves the room as she % fixes the sagging parts. Back in Fry's apartment, he's still sitting % at the TV when someone knocks on the door. Walt: [from outside] Mr. Fry, it's those three plumbers you called for. Igner: We're here to tighten your drain. % Walt slaps Igner once more. As Fry walks to the door and opens it, he % has time to say the words "I didn't order any ... " before the three % boys lunge at him and hold him to the ground. Larry slips Fry a % tranquilizer in pill-form, and forces it to be swallowed by rubbing % his neck. From Fry's perspective, the world goes hazy, and an unknown % amount of time passes by. % When Fry finally comes to, he's in a small, white room. It has four % featureless walls, and no ceiling. It seems to be a cheaply % constructed cubicle in a large warehouse. There's a desk against one % wall, with a menu posted behind it, and on another wall hangs a % January 2000 calendar. Across from the desk, there's a door-shaped % opening, but no door, and it leads into darkness. Fry is lying on the % ground, and Walt stands over him, wearing a chefs' hat and a phony % mustache. Walt: Wake up, Mr. Fry. Fry: [dazed] Where am I? Walt: You're in the good old year 2000, working here at Panucci's Pizza. You fell asleep on the job. Fry: Well, that sounds like me, but I thought I got frozen. Wasn't I in the future? Walt: No, you only "dreamed" you were in the year 3000. Fry: So, I'm really back!? Oh, that's exactly what I wanted ... I guess. Who are you? Walt: I'm Mr. Panucci. Fry: You are? [squints] Did you grow a mustache since last night? % Walt pulls the mustache off of his face in the blink of an eye and % holds it behind his back. He nervously tells Fry to work the % "currency register," because a customer is on the way. In another % white room next door, furnished like a lady's dressing room, Larry % and Igner are standing with Pamela Anderson's head in a jar. Igner is % standing still, wearing a red cloak over his body, and Pamela % Anderson's jar sits on the table. Pamela: Hurry up, please. I want to get back to the head museam. Larry: Don't worry, Ms. Anderson, this won't take long. Now, your motivation is you're back in the year 2000 and your head's still on your body, and you want a cheese pizza. % Larry dusts her off and places the jar on top on Igner's head. He % folds up the red cloak so that is looks like Igner is her body (no one % seems to care that her neck is now three feet long ... and did I % mention Igner was wearing phony breasts?), and Pamela reassures them % that she's only doing this so people will take her head seriously as % an actress. Meanwhile, Fry is sitting at the desk in his little room, % and he notices anochivies on the menu behind him. Fry: Hey, look, anchovies! Walt: Of course, they're not extinct _yet_. And, if you need further proof that this is really a thousand years ago, well, here's contemporary actress, Pamela Anderson! % Igner stumbles into the room with Pamela on his head. Walt claps his % hands, and Igner claps his hands too, even though they're supposed to % belong to Ms. Anderson. She walks up to the counter and leans over to % Fry. Pamela: Hello, Fry. Remember me from "Baywatch: The Movie?" Fry: Uh ... Pamela: It was the first movie to be shot entirely in slow-motion. Walt: [whispering to her] It hasn't been made yet. Pamela: [whispering back] Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar? Walt: Nope. Pamela: Crap! Fry: Wait ... you're Pamela Anderson! Cool, what can I get you? % Pamela begins to ask for a cheese pizza and a large soda, but she % forgets the line halfway through and Larry has to yell it to her from % backstage. She repeats the line again loudly but unnaturally. Fry % echoes Pamela's order to Walt, who stands next to him, and Walt % instantly produces the two items. Fry is confused, but carries on % with his job anyway. When Pamela asks what she owes him, everyone % leans in and listens carefully. Pamela: So, what do I owe you? Fry: $10.77. Same as my PIN number. % Everyone but Fry starts laughing, including the man inside Pamela's % red cloak. Fry tries to laugh along with them, but then Igner tells % him "Hey, you don't get to laugh!," lifts Pamela's jar up in the air, % and hits Fry over the head with it. On the street outside Fry's % apartment, a white limo pulls up (with bags of money strapped to the % roof), and Fry is thrown out on the sidewalk. The three boys inside % laugh maniacally as they throw money in the air. Igner: Thanks a billion! Larry: More like 4.3 billion. % They all laugh, but Walt slaps each of his brothers in the face. The % limo pulls away, and Fry is left lying on the sidewalk, when another % dream sequence begins. Fry imagines himself floating in the air, with % pizzas, anchovies, and the number 1077 zooming past him. Bender's and % Leela's heads appear like ghosts in front of him. Fry: Oh, I had a nightmare I was in the year 2000 and you guys never existed. I'm so glad I'm awake now, and you're really here. Leela: Since when do you care about us? Bender: We thought you only cared about cans of anchovies and stuffy old songs about the buttocks. Fry: No, that's not true! % Both of his friends say goodbye to him as they fade away into the % background. An announcer's voice comes out of nowhere and says "This % dream brought to you by LightSpeed briefs!" and a giant 3-pack of % LightSpeeds flashes into the foreground. Fry wakes up, and it's still % the midafternoon. A truck labelled "Robo-Repo" sits in the street, % and a robot is busy carrying pieces of furniture from the apartment % building into the back of the truck. Fry: Bender ... Leela ... don't leave me ... wait a minute! [turns to the robot] Hey, buddy, what year is this? Robot: Uh, 3000. Fry: 3000? Yes! I'm still in the future! Life is wonderful! [realizes] Wait, what are you doing with my stuff? Robot: Check bounced. We're taking it all back. % Fry reminisces about his ATM card and secret PIN number (he reminds % the robot that it was 1077), and says he's got nothing left. But he % realizes that's not true when he reaches into his sock and pulls out % his tin of anchovies. Meanwhile, Bender and Leela watch TV at Planet % Express, and Professor Farnsworth sits at the table writing on a pad % of paper. Leela: [to Prof.] _You're_ Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy? Prof.: A-wha? Oh, yeah, they say madness runs in our the family. [dead-pan] Some even call _me_ mad. And, why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters! Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood ... [Prof. walks out and Fry walks in] Fry: Leela! Bender! I missed you so much. Leela: You did? What happened? Fry: I was robbed. They got everything, except these. [holds up his anchovies] Bender: Who did? [Mom enters] Mom: Hello, Fry. Leela: [gasps] It's Mom! Mom: I felt terrible when I heard about your money troubles, and I thought maybe I could help out a sweet young man by buying his anchovies. Fry: Sorry, but the anchovies aren't for sale. Mom: [yells] What?! Listen, you little bastard, I control the robot oil business and I won't let _you_ ruin me. How much do you want? [takes out her checkbook] Fry: You might as well put that checkbook away, because I've discovered something even more important. My friends. And they aren't worth even a penny to me. [Bender and Leela exchange glances] That's why _these_ anchovies are going on a pizza. So I can share the food I love with the people I like. Mom: [incredulous] Holy hell!!! You're going to _eat_ them? Oh, well ... [sweetly] Just make sure you eat them all. You're a growing boy. Toodle-loo, _dumbass_. Fry: What a nice lady! % Mom leaves. Later that night, Leela, Nibbler, Amy, Hermes, Bender, % Fry and Professor Farnsworth are gathered around the table with a piza % pie in the center. Fry opens up the tin of anchovies and puts some on % everyone's slice. Fry: Okay, my friends, get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted. Amy: I don't know ... I've had cow. % They all take a bite of their pizza, and everyone but Fry instantly % chokes and grabs his/her neck in disgust. Fry continues to eat his % pizza happily. Fry: Ah, no one likes 'em at first, but they'll grow on ya. [Dr. Zoidberg enters and sniffs the air] Zoidberg: That stench ... that heavenly stench! [he rushes over and eats the whole pizza pie in one gulp] More!!! Fry: [cheerful] There aren't any more, and there never will be! Zoidberg: More ... more ... more ... more!!! % Zoidberg hunches over in anger. He knocks over the table and lurches % towards Fry, chanting "More!!!" Suspenseful music plays. He lurches % closer and closer to the camera, until his black pupil fills the % screen and the executive producer credits are waiting inside. % End of Act Four (7:49) ======================================================================== = Contributers = {ac} Amanda Cohen {ksp} Kelly Shane Pickell {bc} Brian Corvello {lf} Larry Finkelstein {dga} Dale G. Abersold {mc} Michael Choi {hl} Haynes Lee {mo} Matt O'Connell {jb} Jason Barrera {mr} Mattew Riley {jh2} Justin Headley {rw} Ralph Wiggum {jk} Joe Klemm {zz} Zachary Zulkowski ======================================================================== Futurama, its characters and "screen ======= First uploaded: 30-May-1999 door" are registered trademarks of ======= Revision D : 05-Dec-1999 30th Century Fox. Compiled with 10% ======= E-mail jedraw@earthlink.net more love than the previous leading =================================== capsule by Jordan "Mom" Eisenberg. ===================================